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I sincerely hope you are doing alright. I was hoping this place allowed you a place to rant and vent some frustrations, but your posts here worry me greatly. In one of your threads here you said that it seems like nobody cares about you, but this is false. There are still people who do care for your well being. It is my current understanding that you quit drinking which is always an accomplishment that is worth commending. People such as brie and myself care for you and even though sometimes it doesn't appear so, the folks at Minichan do value your contributions to their community.
I urge you to not do anything drastic even if it seems like your life is heading down a downward spiral. This is what I try to do myself during times when I just feel like I cannot handle what this world brings to the table. Things ended up getting better for me like my therapist thinking I am ready for hormones. I hope there is something that can encourage you to find peace.
I hope Punychan and even Minichan can be a place where you may vent your frustrations out in a healthy way. I'll make sure of that. ;-)